Distance

I have been in a weird, distant state for a while now and I am just realizing it. I'm not ready to come out of it yet, but I wanted to talk about it.

When asked "How are you?" I mostly answer "Fine" like most other people without thinking about it or I'd answer "Fine, just tired." Honestly, I'm not feeling fine, I just don't want to deal with thinking about it. I do what I need to do at work, but no more. I sit on the couch every night when I come home from work at stare at the TV.

I've quit reading books for the most part. I never make dinner. The house stays looking like a wreck and I even put that out of my mind because I don't want to think about it. My relationship with Cory makes more falls than rises, but it seems to me like I keep it in the valley - like I enjoy confrontation or something. We say I love you and kiss goodnight, but the passion and intimacy have dwindled, leaving us with companionship. Companionship is easy.

I cannot remember feeling true joy for a while now. The baby's movements make me smile and seems to be the only thing that takes me from blase' to happy. Sure, I try to put on a happy face when I'm around others and at times, I am happy - just not a lasting happy. I think the pregnancy gives me an easy out to say that I'm tired when I don't feel happy.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis, nor advice. I slowly feel myself coming out of it and I feel fine knowing that I'm reaching up, no matter how long it may take to get there.

Just felt like I needed to put it down. Thanks for listening and not judging.

Labor Prediction

I just took a cute labor prediction test at this website: http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/baby/Madame-Zaritska-predicts-your-birth-experience-736.htm

This is what the results said:
Madame Zaritska's reading
Madame Zaritska, our resident clairvoyant, wants to help you prepare for the arrival of your child. Here she does her best to predict certain aspects of your labor and birth experience.
What she senses for you:
The day you deliver, outside will be rainy. Your baby will arrive in the morning. After a labor lasting approximately 14 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and will be 19-1/2 inches long. This child will have hazel eyes and be completely bald.
But there is more. Although you may feel tired, your pregnancy will be over before you are truly ready to let go of having this precious baby you have all to yourself. I sense that you will look back and long for these days. I suggest doing something now to preserve some memories of this time. Many women enjoy making a belly cast. Perhaps you would be interested, too.

Pretty neat. I am actually expecting about a 14 hour labor (although shorter would be fantastic!) and a baby boy. Anything between 6 and 7 pounds is alright with me. Unsure about the hazel eyes, but it's possible- mine are blue and Cory's are dark brown. The baldness would not surprise me at all.

I also feel that I will miss pregnancy, although I am ready now to meet my baby. I have a feeling that we will not be waiting 3 years to get ready for the third baby.

Let me know what yours says Kristy!

Who?

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two?